THE UNITED STATES went all out for St. Patrick’s Day this year.

First we had that ridiculous U.S. Army ‘Happy St. Patrick’s Day’ video, where they were shooting shamrocks from tanks and firing shamrock missiles across the sky, because apparently that’s the only way they know how to celebrate patriotism, and then we had Saturday Night Live’s latest sketch about Ireland.

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Unlike the godawful Aer Lingus sketch with Saoirse Ronan, which had no obvious plot or storyline and seemed as if it was written five minutes before that episode of SNL began, this week’s sketch had an actual plot. There was a bit more thought put into it. So much so, that you’d believe that they put about ten minutes into it this time around.

First they started off with a map that was missing a chunk of the island.

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People up north can watch RTÉ, you know.

Next, it cut to the set of a dating show, which was basically like Blind Date. The Irish accents were as poor as usual. Bill Hader drifted between having an Australian and Liverpudlian accent for most of the sketch.

This guy has been working on SNL, doing Irish sketches pretty consistently, since 2005. And still, after all these years, he just shrugs and speaks like Old Greg from The Mighty Boosh every time that Ireland is the topic of the week.

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The jokes then descended into how everyone from Ireland is deformed as a result of centuries of inbreeding. Be careful not to roll your eyes too hard at this:

This was offensive in a number of ways, but the most offensive thing about it was how unfunny it actually was. With a bit of luck, Saoirse Ronan will stay away from the SNL studios for a while, and then we won’t have to lay our eyes on anything like this again until next Paddy’s Day.

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